"new age girl" || deadeye dick || 1994

Growing up in the 90's was a lot of fun, wasn't it? Everything was so brightly colored, since the 70's randomly got cool again and people were wearing lots of tye-dye beneath their overalls. It's not surprising that with this resurgence of the "peace" era came a bunch of damn hippie chicks.

That's exactly what today's song is about, too: Hippie chicks. But it certainly doesn't seek to knock them or point out the unoriginality of their nature. It instead embraces their subculture and points out many of its endearing qualities, such as a long lifespan thanks to a vegetarian diet or the economic consciousness of "spending lots of cash."

It's a good thing that the "new age" culture exists, too. I can't imagine what my neighborhood would have been like growing up without it. Just about every little corner store sold herbs, oils, hand-made jewelry, all that new age loveliness. (And they're all still there today!)

You've probably heard this song thanks to the film Dumb & Dumber, or perhaps thanks to its highly recognizable chorus about "Mary Moon," the girl mentioned in the song's title.

It's a personal favorite of mine for being the only song I know that uses the word "septuagenerian."

septuagenarian (n.)

A person between the ages of 70 and 79, i.e. "in their seventies."

Don't say you didn't learn anything today.

Listen to it here.

"you're in love" || wilson phillips || 1990

Ugh...I know, I know. Wilson Phillips. Deal with it.

The subject matter of this song interests me because it deals with a certain type of relationship issue that's not often found in pop music (well, pop music that isn't emo). It describes the moment at which you've moved past a former relationship just enough to be genuinely happy for an ex-lover upon seeing them happy with someone else. Suddenly, pain surrounding the relationship subsides, and a bubble-bath feeling of comfort washes in, providing solace to you as you gaze happily at someone for whom you truly no longer have romantic feelings. It's the ultimate relief.

The reason I'm writing about this track right now is because today is the first day in about seven or eight years that I've actually been able to listen to it in its entirety. I took comfort in the fact that I could listen to it again, and not feel painfully saddened by it as I had in years past. I took comfort in that knowledge, and I thought it was a nice parallel to the song's subject matter.

That's really all I want to say about it. It's a pretty song. Enjoy.

Listen to it here.

"don't take the candy" || wolf & wolf || 1983

Gosh, where to even begin with today's track?

To say that this song is bizarre would be the litote to end all litotes. It would be like saying that Warheads are "a little sour," or that Brokeback Mountain is "a little gay."

Get it? The song is effing peculiar.

The story is that of a young girl from Idaho who moves to L.A. to become a star, but soon finds herself the victim of a "candy uncle," who's offered her candy that just "ain't sweet." The singer apparently tried to warn the girl about the infamous L.A. Candy Uncles, but said warnings went unheeded and the girl shall never again roam the potato pastures of Idaho.

"Don't take the candy from the uncle in the street." Okay, I can do that. But wait, what uncle are we talking about here? Does she mean bad agents? Bad lawyers? Porno directors? Pedophiles?!

And what became of our young actress? Is she just a failed actress? A waitress? A porn star? (read: A failed actress.) Is she dead?

The thing that makes the song so creepy is its open-endedness. It would appear that not even the singer is sure what happened to the girl.

Believe me, at first listen, this song is ridiculous. But if you give it a chance, it is actually a pretty interesting story, and one that's no doubt happened millions of times to young ladies with Hollywood aspirations. The bizarre way in which the tale is told is what really makes this track unique.

Listen to it here.

"sleigh ride" || bubblyfish || 2006

I've never been a fan of holiday music. But hey, I'm the first to admit it: Throw a synth behind anything and I'll listen.

Bubblyfish did more than just "throw in" a synth though. She composed a full-blown, 8-bit version of this holiday classic, and words simply aren't sufficient to acquiesce its awesomeness.

If you've never found holiday music to be too boring for your ears, give this track a try. Hey, even if you don't like it, it's not even two minutes long, so it's not much to sit through.

I must say, though, that it really doesn't need to be any longer than that. I fear that it would enter the Daft Punk territory of repetitiveness if it were even a minute longer. It's perfect the way it is.

As for Bubblyfish herself, all I really know about her is that she's an electronic artist from Korea who currently lives in New York. This track is by far the most upbeat I've ever heard from her, as her other works that I've played (including the droning "Morph 02" and the overwhelmingly saccharine "Kite") are extremely minimal in nature, which is, of course, not a bad thing at all. She seems quite the talent, and I hope to hear a lot more from her.

Listen to it here.

"goodbye horses" || q. lazzarus || 1991

Umm, so let's talk about obscurity. This song is pretty much the definition thereof.

No one seems to know anything about Q. Lazzarus. The only tidbit of information about her that repeatedly seems to turn up on random websites states that she was, at some point, a cab driver in NYC. I've even tried to contact Ms. Lazzarus through this MySpace profile, which purports to be run by the husky-voiced heroine herself, but to date I've gotten no response.

I'm calling BS: I think she's not real.

Think about it: How could you create the most obscure song of all time? Simple. Invent a fake singer. Milli Vanilli had the right idea, but I think at the last minute Frank Farian decided to throw two German models into the spotlight. Big mistake, Frank; the folks behind Q. Lazzarus had the right idea: Invent a singer, invent a producer ("William J. Garvey"), and slide it into an iconic scene in an iconic film that will no doubt become both a cult and pop favorite. Then take a picture of some random staffer around the office (the Pepsi machine restocking chick, the head of corporate development, and the front-desk receptionist are all good suggestions) wearing a goofy cowboy hat, and throw it on the cover of the 12". Boom! Instant club / cult / college radio sensation, and lots of annoyed folks on the Internet 15 years later, looking for info about your non-existent, illusory singer.

The song itself is, naturally, beautiful. Lazzarus has an encapsulating, velvet voice, and the subject matter itself is quite interesting. The singer of the song is kissing goodbye to reality (which, in some mythology, was represented by horses). The singer has obviously been through something very tragic, and the lyrics indicate that she doesn't see things getting better anytime soon. So rather than trudge on with life and continue to deal with pain, she says, "Screw this, I'm outta here." Could it be a nod to suicide? Maybe, but I don't think so. I think it's about creating a new reality when the one in which you exist ceases to please you.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope Ms. Lazzarus does indeed exist, and I hope that this blog entry alone will inspire her to record more music (or at least shoot me an e-mail). But hey, even if I'm right, wouldn't that be awesome if I uncovered some massive musical sham? Gosh, even if it is a sham, kudos to the Q. Lazzarus team for pulling this off.

Listen to it here.

"i'm not perfect (but i'm perfect for you)" || grace jones || 1986

Sometimes a song's lyrics can be so amazingly poignant that you'd swear you heard them before, but you can't prove it. Thus is the case with today's track.

Miss Jones (along with Bruce Wooley) wrote this very cleverly titled track for her 1986 album Inside Story. The album is smooth as silk, and this track is the perfect kickoff.

For once (in this blog), today's track was chosen based more on its lyrical content than its musical content. The music really isn't anything too special, but the lyrics are simply brilliant.

This song is the perfect way of telling someone, "Sure, I love you, but I am an imperfect being, and I wish to be loved in return as such." It's begging someone to love you in spite of your flaws. It seems like such a simple thought, but no other song has, for me, ever worded it so carefully and precisely as this one.

Listen to it here.

"silver screen shower scene" || felix da housecat || 2001

Leftfield club classic from the earlier part of this decade. While I'm not big on modern dance music, I think this track deserves a round of applause for sheer kitchy-ness.

Hear this one once and you'll remember all the words (it's not too tough -- there are four lines of lyrics that repeat, plus an interlude). More importantly though, you'll be extremely inclined to move around.

This track is a refreshing take from the monotonous, machinist music that prevails in today's clubs. It's creative, exciting, and, just to be repetitive, kitchy!

Listen to it here.